The story reads like a chilling plot ripped from the pages of a horror anthology. But this isn’t fiction; it’s the alleged reality for a couple now facing a reckoning for a disturbing crime spree that has gripped the Greater Toronto Area and sent shockwaves around the globe.
John Ruch and Jordan Noble, dubbed the ‘crypt couple’ by investigators, stand accused of desecrating the final resting places of hundreds, pilfering irreplaceable family heirlooms from the graves of the departed. Their alleged enterprise wasn’t conducted in shadows, however, but brazenly alongside a digital trail of unsettling clues.
Police allege the pair posed as mourners, exploiting grief and vulnerability to commit their crimes. The scale of the alleged theft is staggering – over 300 graves targeted, thousands of dollars worth of precious items stolen. This Thursday, they will appear in court, not within the silent walls of a mausoleum, but before a judge.
A glimpse into their online lives reveals a disturbing portrait. Ruch’s Facebook page showcases a macabre image: a man in a suit, clutching a dinosaur skeleton and a replica handgun, his face bearing theatrical cuts. A banner proclaims “Devils Night,” adding to the unsettling scene.
His bio offers a glimpse into a troubled psyche, declaring himself “old… Like a fine wine” and admitting to being “depressed but makes me funny.” Noble’s online presence echoes the darkness, her profile stating a defiant “IDGAF” and a relationship with Ruch since 2024.
Her posts are filled with gothic memes and expressions of despair. One chilling post reads, “At my funeral don’t cry, I’ve been dead inside for a long time and y’all didn’t care.” These digital fragments paint a picture of individuals seemingly consumed by darkness, but they are not the focus of the legal proceedings.
The charges against them are severe: theft under $5,000, break-ins to burial spots, and the particularly disturbing charge of indignity to a dead body. A search warrant uncovered a drill and hundreds of pieces of jewelry, allegedly stolen from caskets and later fenced or melted down.
Investigators painstakingly catalogued hundreds of complaints, starting with the initial shock of a family discovering their loved one’s grave had been violated. The detective work, led by Det.’s Randy Sorrell and Mariya Popnikolova, has been described as outstanding, marked not only by diligence but also by profound compassion for the victims.
The stolen heirlooms have been recovered from a Niagara Falls motel, and police are working tirelessly to return them to grieving families. The emotional toll on those families, discovering their loved ones’ final resting places desecrated, is immeasurable.
Both Ruch and Noble were already on release for previous alleged thefts when they were arrested, raising questions about the conditions of their previous bail. The possibility of a future condition barring them from approaching cemeteries is now being considered. This case is a stark reminder of the depths of human depravity and the enduring pain inflicted upon those left behind.
